Clear Vision

Clearer the mirror I've pierced through before

Satisfied with reflections right down to the core

Stronger and Taller stand firmly in place

Withstanding the storm head on, face to face

No pretending or lying or trying to please

No swaying or teasing or making words freeze

Released from the bond that never existed

The mind holds the key and the mind said resist it

He Loves Me

I held my breath and refused to breathe
So he pressed his lips on mine and breathed for me
My lungs now full and my heart now beating
I felt his love like the first time was repeating

He loves me

I tried to run because love can feel like suffocation
He let me go with a kiss... and pretended I was on vacation
Alone, tears flowed, looking at my empty shell not responding
So cold, so closed, but our hearts still continued corresponding

He loves me

The echo of his pleading leaves my heart bleeding
I feel the passion that his pain is feeding
The pain I cause when I tell him I'm leaving
Because he loves me...my words he's not believing

He loves me

It's Hopless

Leaves rustle in the wind
The air is crisp
The temperature's plummet is unmistakable
But this heart, already frozen
Feels nothing
Bitter winds chill my spine
Encased in ice, my heart, stays solid

I know these winds
They are unforgiving
So begging becomes quite pointless
Instead I turn my back and close my eyes
Eyes on the sun, I try to focus

It's hopeless

Tears want to fall but they keep freezing
Ducts clogged with anger dam the flow
I'm breathing but my heart stopped beating
Love may have died but the wind still blows

The Mirage of Freedom

I have the freedom to speak as I may
As long as I'm not in school when I pray
As long as I'm not opposed to being gay
And as long as your not offended with what I have to say

I have the freedom of choice, it's my life
As long as I don't try to end it with your knife
As long as I am a woman and completely pro-life
And as long as I chose a marriage between man and wife

I have the freedom to believe what I might
As long as I keep it out of your sight
As long as I don't try to shed any of his light
And as long as I don't believe that I'm actually right

Freedom's a mirage so it only feels like it's there
Try to use it and watch it evaporate in thin air
Whatever you say or choose to believe
Is just the mirage of freedom, placed there, to deceive

Life Against Time

I am standing still yet the room still spins
Life passes in the time I've lost
I am here yet my mind wanders a drift
This love wasn't worth the time it cost

You're looking at me for answers
But no words are left to write
I look to you with questions
But you steadily remain out of sight

I choose to stand because there's no time for sleep
Sleeping is just flirting with death
You see only what your heart believes
Your mind fogs in cold frosted breath

Life plays like a game and everyone can't win
Some one is bound to take the fall
Fly high when mercury hits the sun
Then baby step back and learn to crawl

Change is the growth on which I rely
To remain unchanged is simply to die
Refrain from the possible reasons of why
It's easy to pretend the truth is a lie

War Has Come To America (written day after 9/11)

War has come to America
At least that’s what they say
The Twin Towers have been destroyed
By two hijacked planes early yesterday
Thousands have been killed
And thousands are injured too
Dust and debris cover the streets
As rescuers make their way through

I stare at the news on television
And they replay the crash again
Each time I see it , it feels closer to home
So close that I almost feel the pain

The first tower now collapses
And it crashes to the ground
I see people falling out of windows
Now just casualties to be found

Instantly my heart breaks
As realization starts to set in
This is definitely not a movie
War is really about to begin

Now the second tower crumbles down
And it’s the same thing as before
As it Enforces the frightening reality
That soon there will be war

Time Ticks

Time ticks steady, it never pauses
Never slows nor speeds
The rhythm remains flawless
Tick-tock-tick, continually it proceeds

Time ticks quickly as it passes
Moments, they die every second
There is no revival, no CPR tactics
Minutes fall once they are reckoned

Time ticks in silence, can you hear it?
Ticks sound like the pull of a trigger
With an echoed tock, as seconds hit the ground
The graveyard of time continues getting bigger

Time ticks freely, without any thought
Minutes to hours to days...seconds evaporate
Replaced with new hope like falling rain
Memories become blurred as emotions lose their weight

Time offers new chances in exchange for old feelings
Two moments can't share the same tick in one heart
Let time lead the way to desired happiness
Each second comes with second chances and a fresh start

How Does It Feel?

How does it feel to use people
To play with them as if on strings
Make them dance and twirl
Then drop them for other things

What's it like to fake your love
To hurt the one that's real
Pretending what you want is this
When you already admitted it's not ideal

Oh the manipulative liar,
Will do what she has to do
The self proclaimed confession
From a heart that stays untrue

Twisted stories become tornadoes
Spiraling out of control
Doing whatever it takes
To selfishly feel whole

She steps on the heart of innocence
Sucking the fuel required
Fuel used to burn old bridges
Not caring about what's transpired

Her broken home was self inflicted
And she regrets the decisions made
Plotted revenge reaches execution
No matter who has to be betrayed

I wait on karma to kill her
Bury her deep inside her grave
She dug the hole herself
But... she'll just wait for anyone to save

Flowing Love

The water was calm, still as glass, with clear reflections

A pebble thrown, skips the surface, causes minor ripples

The ripples flow, calms me, endlessly cascades in all directions

Till the water almost stills, reflection blurs, heart rate triples

A stone tossed plunges, the expected splash still startles

The moving water, can't settle, waves start forming

I jump in the waves , giggles and laughter, becoming partial

Spontaneous moments, lead to deeper waters, transforming

Treading waters, still unknown, trying not to drown

A hand reaches mine, gently leading, not letting go

Holds me close, in secured arms, love is found

To think it all started, from a ripple, from a stone

Because Of You, I Can't

Hot streams pour over and calm me
Wash away your negative touch
Cleanse my soul from debris
From all the wont's, dont's and such

Release as I may the essence
The scars they never quite fade
The past as strong as the present
Trickle back and see the cascade

My optimism shrunk in the frigid air
Iced by pessimistic hissing
Steamy showers try to erase despair
But the doubt is strongly resisting

You Asked For Someone To Do This, Through Your Words...I Accept The Challenge

Face to face, eye to eye
I stand tall and stay firm
My voice does not raise
And my tone does not change
I might listen... if I feel like it
But chances are...I won't believe you
I already know the words
The story is always the same

You are unchanging, but need to change
Your inflated ego will have you unable to see this
And no one would dare tell you...so I will

It's not okay to speak those words to me
I will not stand for it for a second
I don't use them with you

It's not okay to take friendship for granted
Acting sporadic like a leaf blowing without breeze
I don't do this to you

It's not okay to use me like a writing utensil
Picking me up until my ink evaporates
Then toss me away
I would never...could never...
Do that to anyone

You need to control your raging hormones
Just like you'd expect of a cycling woman
You need to start thinking first and acting much later
Instead of trying to erase mistakes...
The eraser is rubbing away

You should know also that I do take from you
But I do give to you, a heck of a lot in return
And don't you dare try to tell me otherwise

And that brings us to the lies
You will lie through, not so clenched teeth, to hurt in anger
Because there is no true reason to be angry
Or at least none you are willing to admit
Not even to yourself
But you thrive off the fight
Probably for the resulting attention

Am I perfect? nope not at all
You too are not
And even though you might know this
You still act like you are supposed to be higher
And hold the fact that I am human against me

I refuse to accept a slanted scale of friendship
I am the friend that would give up my last breath for those I love
Loyal even to people that hurt me
I know you will disagree
But even then, I was loyal
You just couldn't see

You've hurt me on beat
And the rhythm stays steady
I will not take it any longer
I am not the one who needs changing
Not this time
So don't tell me you're sorry...
Just show me

Selfish

Let's talk selfish for a moment please
First, what exactly does selfish mean?
Well according to Webster's the definition is simple:
"To be concerned with self " begins the ripple
It goes on to talk about "concentration on one's own advantage"
Of course it includes "without regard for others," like savages

Now, I'll add to the list a few of my own
Like when people want a call but don't answer the phone.
And they're wearing two gloves, so they can never throw back
Or like all the reasons for the 9-eleven attacks
Their pick pocket hands like to play sly in the streets
But they're too full of shit to even write a receipt

Selfish is using me for your own satisfaction
Then when tables start turning, suddenly--no reaction
Selfish is lying for your own protection
Then letting it spread like a deadly infection
Selfish is wanting more than you give
Or giving only when you want the passion to live
Selfish is taking everything about me for granted
And not tending the seeds you intentionally planted

So now that we know what selfish is, really
Pointing fingers about it, becomes rather silly.

Hush!

The world doesn't want to know, so don't tell them
Keep to yourself your selfish thoughts
Bury them, until they're 6 feet under
Or they'll slaughter them, and leave them to rot

How dare you feel such a feeling
Feelings like this, you must never discuss
Besides, there is no reason to feel this
So let it burn until it turns to dust

Why would they care of wounds not of them
Just carry your own cross while they stone
Make believe smiles and mask all emotion
For your pain can never be shown

You Take My Breath Away

Our eyes lock together and your energy enters
With the force of lightening.
Words ricochet from your lips to my ear
With the power of thunder, It's almost frightening.

Confessions escape from tongues intertwined,
As passions intensify.
Feeding my soul just enough to moisten,
But very careful not to satisfy.

Crypted lines leave emptiness
For those looking only in between.
The understanding find comfort in meanings
While the blind follow solely from routine

I feel each syllable with each throbbing pulse
As the words flow through my veins
Chilled spine tingles, then freezes
Overloaded by pain from shattered remains

Energy immerses from the words never spoken
Ink turns to blood and seeps from the wounds freshly opened
I soak in the tears that now glide down your cheek
You take away breath, I have no words left to speak

When You Throw Sand

The sand box entices with the softest grain
Seeping through fingers like soft summer rain
Quick to divulge into all of it's glory
Slow with remorse and never sorry

Tossing sand in the air, not a care in the world
"Look at me, Look at me, I am his girl"
Knocking down castles, to make yours bigger
Digging down deep like a real gold digger

Then winds changed direction, North East they now blow
Those grains of sand thrown, in your eyes they now go
They're Burning like fire with the sting of a bee
You rub and it hurts, so you beg and you plead

"Make her stop saying all these mean things about me"

If you can't take the dirt, then get out of the box
Cause while your throwing sand, I'll be throwing back rocks

Look At Me

You used to stand high on your toes
hands to the sky
Just to hold the lowest branch
you were determined to try
I would lift you
so that you could reach
desperately you tried to grab hold with tiny fingers

I can hear your giggle
Your laugh
Your screech.

Then one day you stood tall
and with no help at all
you grabbed hold of that branch
your feet left the ground
and you froze
scared to move
you called for me.

Today I watch you spin circles around the same tree
You stop and look at the same branch
feet flat on the ground you grab hold
your fingers now easily wrap tightly around
You're braver now
your confidence shows
One step after the other
you climb up and in
and through
You call for me with a giggle
a laugh
and a screech
'Look at me' you say
This time I'm scared
and I call for you

Mostly In Fun

Puzzle connected reveals the picture
Pictures say 1000 words
Actions speak much louder
piercing half truths now blurred

Pots and kettles boil water
But not when they are watched
Too many cooks in the kitchen
Broth becomes spoiled and blotched

Eggs are not chickens
Just hope tucked in the nest
A penny earned is saved
The pinchers save the best

Faded Lilac

We shared dreams together
or I should say, you shared in my dreams
nonetheless, dreams were shared.
You cared about them
For the love between us
was stronger than the old lilac tree
Your favorite flower, in both variety and colour.
Fantasies of a little girl, preferably,
but not too soon
Planning the details over a cup of tea
But like the lilacs on the tree
You faded away
As the dreams we shared were removed
I have two sons

One, Two,Karma's Coming For You

Killing your happy when it's least expected
Arranged pieces by fate ensure it's collected
Reason, because your intentions are vicious
Make no mistake karma's just as malicious
And while karma's a bitch, to watch is delicious

Loaned Bodies

Worthless beings so full of pride
Brave to stand tall from behind
When locust's come they all will hide
Screaming when found confined.
Chance after chance, continue failing
Destined to rebel
Burning sensations cause endless wailing
Consumed by the wrath of hell
Soak deeper, in the blood of evil
Stay consumed by envy and hate
Prepare yourself for the trumpet cries
For you won't escape your promised fate

It Doesn't Matter

I can scream the truth into your ears
or whisper
It doesn't matter
Your heart does not hear me

Between the lines you miss the point
the reason
It doesn't matter
Your reaction would still disappoint me

So to myself my thoughts I keep
deep Inside
It doesn't matter
Just close your eyes and go to sleep

Like Fireflies, Are We

A fiery light glows
amidst the blackened eclipse
Starry skies cloud dark
as heavy waters quench natures thirst.
Bioluminescence,
the night light of nature
shines alone.
Vexing to the blinded
Comforting to the sighted
The lucent beetle floats aimlessly
longing to fill unknown needs
cast aside and cursed along the way
unaffected, it draws nearer
until it crosses it's destined path
frozen by intrigue
the likeness doesn't mirror
only compliments
Now two glow together
Brighter
Luminating the others darkness
Revealing that darkness existed
Before they met

Love Something, Let it go, If it comes back, It's yours

Needle injected into my eye
Cause and effect, tears run dry

Loved ones lost, set free to fly
Tested wings flew free, flew high
Then bee lined back straight through the sky
When oxygen proved short in supply

Distancing souls, the heart did try
Connection too strong, souls can't comply

Blinded Insanity

Mixed emotions stand and sit
Fixed omissions fail to submit
Convinced for convenience, like contraception of sense
But hands rinsed of blood stay anxious and tense

Crazed brain spins insanely, periodically stopping
Grazed grains by chickens end up no more than droppings
Unwavering instability never slows
Behaving below ability always shows

Egos battle sanity inside of your head
Reflections of vanity makes souls convert red
Twisting and twirling the psyche regrets
Insisting and persisting, persuasion forgets

Mind fucking, fuckers, fuck with your mind
Rip out your cornea, forcing you blind
Impermanent bliss, the conscience adjourns
Placid, is the abyss, till the storm returns

Ctrl + Alt + Delete

The siren sounds, a virus is detected
Program not responding, I've been infected
Control, Alt, Delete, the task must end
Abort connection, suspend, SUSPEND
Action suggested, "move to chest"
The thought of this spreading is hard to digest
Reformatting is needed for proper restoration
Firewall now in place, blocking further temptation

The Love of Children

"Good Morning Mommy!
Can you wake up?
We made you breakfast!"

I open my eyes and your deep brown eyes turn bright
Your heartwarming smiles are shining like light

"Happy Mother's day!
We love you!
You are the best mother in the world"

Nothing could compare to this instant
Your hugs and kisses are the most consistent

Thank you for the cheerios served dry
Your genuine love brings tears to my eyes

~I have the sweetest most caring and loving children ever. I am so blessed to have them in my life today and everyday. No one else in this world could ever love me the way they do. They show me what love really is and I am so very thankful to be called their mom~

Love Lockdown

Captivated infatuation called love to deceive
A cheap imitation, defrauded you to believe
Love does not envy, it does not self seek
The foundation you laid is rocky and bleak

Like a manipulative musician she plays the strings of your heart
Enticing your innocence while playing the part
Governing your mind, body and soul
Over your life you have just relinquished control

Like a convict your kept locked up in confinement
And your best-loved companions are placed on consignment
Love always trusts, it's not jealous or hateful
If it is, then it's lust, and affliction is fateful

The charade can't change already confirmed emotions
Self destruction's engaged, it's been set into motion
Continue pretending, for ignorance is bliss
But when dark comes to light it will be me you miss.

Untitled

Entrapped in a trance with hypnotic force
A magnetic pull the cause and source
Sucked into orbit like the Earth to the sun
Or the moon to the Earth, doesn't matter which one
But like peanut butter to jam it's completely expected
Because hearts worn on sleeves are never protected

Remain Silent

Deafening silence screams with rage
Unrivaled violence, no need to engage
Here inside I remain abstained
While Inside, you remain constrained
Tainted tongues our words are choked
Blood stained hands cannot be cloaked
Internal solitude remains ignored
Incoherence love cannot afford
Isolation triumphs, as affection shatters
Frustration devours everything that matters

Temporary Recovery

Breathe it in and hold it deep
Into your blood it starts to seep
Pumps through veins with every beat
Exhale slow, and then repeat

Higher now than Egyptian Pharaohs
Each hit erasing aching sorrows
Replacing these with feelings borrowed
What's gone today returns tomorrow

Hopelessly Hopeful

Grieving rain breathes life to the Earth
The mystic aura of serene rebirth
As the tears pour down from darkened skies
Cleansing each soul with angel cries
Drizzling kisses console each heart
Delivering the promise of a fresh new start

Sensuality Speaking

Passion suppressed, buried deep inside
Feelings confessed, desires can't hide
These burning sensations must be unleashed
Yearning for pleasure so lust can release
Words conversed cause sinful corruption
Longing to burst like a volcanic eruption
There's no turning back, the climax has spoken
Desires fulfilled, the passions awoken

Misguided Conglamorate

The gullible cleave to shattered truths
The naive believe with battered proof
Follow the masses, join forces, no questions
Deceit never passes, endorses transgression
Supporting destruction, no reason required
Auspicious obstruction, purely fear inspired
Persuaded assassins, shadow desolate causes
Majority plummets, no one stops or pauses